I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
