I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
