I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
