I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize