why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
