You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
