I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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