why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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