I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My bed smells like the plague
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
