Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize