I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
be right there i have to get my cape
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
