just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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