The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I could fuck to npr.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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