Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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