I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
