I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize