The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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