I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ambien. No doubt about it.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
