Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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