Can Purell be used as lube?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
