I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
