piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
