I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize