at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
