when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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