How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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