It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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