the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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