I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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