I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
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