So drunk its hurt
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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