booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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