i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
