what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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