so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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