Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
