her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just gargled with NyQuil
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
