I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
