She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
