then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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