just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
