It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
