Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
