apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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