So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
