you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize