we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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