i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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