This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
