They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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