even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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