I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
