my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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