i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
