Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
