I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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