He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just puked most of my soul out..
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