her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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