I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You smell like stripper and shame
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
