Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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