guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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